Process of elimination

For the irretrievably moronic, there exist the Darwin Awards.

And for the irrevocably bored, there exists the Darwin Awards website, where you can be stupefied by accounts of some of the most imbecilic acts reported. I say reported, not imaginable, because until you read them, I defy you to imagine them.

Don't believe me? Read on, MacDuff, read on...

3 February 1990, Washington

The following mind-boggling attempt at a crime spree appeared to be the robber's first, due to his lack of a previous record of violence, and his terminally stupid choices:

1. His target was H&J Leather & Firearms. A gun shop.

2. The shop was full of customers - firearms customers.

3. To enter the shop, the robber had to step around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door.

4. A uniformed officer was standing at the counter, having coffee before work.

Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a holdup, and fired a few wild shots. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, covered by several customers who also drew their guns, thereby removing the confused criminal from the gene pool.

No one else was hurt.

All I'm saying is - when you're feeling a little less than brilliant, a quick stop at darwinawards.com and you're back feeling like Einstein. It's that easy.