Wednesday, December 17, 2008

How true it is...

My parents rock - yesterday's post was courtesy Mom, and today's is courtesy Dad.

  • There is no North or South - it's "uptown" and "downtown." East or West is "cross-town."
  • You're 35 years old and don't have a driver's license.
  • You ride in a subway car with no air conditioning, just because there are seats available.
  • You take the train home and you know exactly where on the platform the doors will open that will leave you right in front of the exit stairway.
  • You know what a 'regular' coffee is.
  • It's not's the 'city.'
  • You cross the street anywhere but at the corner and you yell at cars for not respecting your right to do it.
  • You move 3,000 miles away, spend 10 years learning the local language and people still know you're from Brooklyn, Long Island or the Bronx the minute you open your mouth.
  • You return after 10 years and the first foods you want are a 'real' pizza , a 'real' bagel, and 'real' Chinese food.
  • A 500 square foot apartment is large.
  • You know the differences between all the different Ray's pizzas.
  • You are not under the mistaken impression that any human being would be able to actually understand a P.A. announcement on the subway.
  • You wouldn't bother ordering pizza in any other city.
  • You get ready to order dinner every night and must choose from the major food groups which are: Chinese, Italian, Mexican or Indian.
  • You're not the least bit interested in going to Times Square on New Year's Eve.
  • Your internal clock is permanently set to know when alternate side of the street parking regulations are in effect.
  • You know what a bodega is.
  • Someone bumps into you and you check for your wallet.
  • You don't even notice the lady walking down the road having a perfectly normal conversation with herself.
  • You pay 'only' $230 a month to park your car.
  • You cringe at hearing people pronounce Houston St. like the city in Texas.
  • The presidential visit is a major traffic jam, not an honor.
  • You can nap on the subway and never miss your stop.
  • The deli guy gives you a straw with any beverage you buy, even if ! It's a beer.

That's New York, baby! Ya gotta love it!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

He's just funny... that's all there is to it

When he's good, he's very, very good (see what he has to say about the game of golf):

And yes, it's another video. Can't see it? Click here.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

The day my jaw dropped

I'll grant that the original may be dated. You may not like it. It may not really stand the test of time. Fine, I gotcha.

So, let's take the remake on its own terms. No problem.

This about sums it up—when we walked out, my friend turned to me and asked, what made them decide to cut the story out of the movie? That's a damn good question, friend.

Actually, if you turn the movie into a game, "name that scene," it's kind of fun. There's the truck being buffeted on the highway scene ("Twister"), the major building disintegration scene ("Independence Day"), the alien curled up in human form scene ("Terminator" crossed with "The Matrix"), to name a few. Not to mention, whoever decided to dress Keanu Reeves like Agent Smith has a wicked sense of humor (or is clueless).

I don't think this is what the producers intended—but I walked out of the movie cracking up. I just couldn't stop laughing. After all, who needs story in a movie?

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Just my kind of inspiration

Hollywood sure knows how to get you going...

(and yes, it's another VIDEO! Can't see it? Go straight to the source. Well, almost.)

Extra points if you get them all.