It's not me, it's them

You gotta love an article like this: "Why The Smartest People Have The Toughest Time Dating." Except that Amherst made the author's list of exemplar institutes of higher learning and my alma mater didn't, either signifying that my school's alumni are so smart we're just S.O.L. because, in the immortal words of M.C. Hammer (himself an alum of my institute of not as high learning—how does one refer to high school anyway?), "you can't touch this," OR the author himself went to Amherst and thus suffers from due jealousy and could not bear to include my clearly superior school in the list. Sidebar over.

The author makes five points, but in my opinion it's his fifth and final point that is the most salient: "By virtue (or vice) of being smart, you eliminate most of the planet's inhabitants as a dating prospect." He goes on to say "you've just eliminated 95% of the world's population as a potential mate, Mr or Ms Smartypants."

See, it's not really my fault I can't get a date. I'm only working with 5% of the population—not even, considering I'm only interested in men, and I have some age (you know, over 18 and under 80) and height requirements. I'm actually probably looking at like, 1% of the population of any given area. Maybe. Damn, I knew I should've gotten a cat.