When coffee hits the road

I start my morning with an espresso. Every morning. Or so I thought. Turns out my beloved Mr. Bialetti moka pot does not technically produce "espresso." This is not to say that Mr. Bialetti's brew is looked down upon (check out this article in The Atlantic by Giorgio Milos, Master Barista for Trieste, Italy-based illycaffe), just that it's not true espresso.

There's only one response to that piece of knowledge: find a gadget or machine to make "true espresso" that meets certain criteria — paramount being that it fall within my budget, and also paramount (yeah, I know paramount is a unique position, but life is full of impossibilities) is that it be reported to be good at its job. Me being me (I being I?), that means research and lots of it.

Me also being me, it didn't take long for me to find the espresso machine that exceeds one of my criteria, but falls a just a wee bit short of the other one — The Speedster, a bespoke espresso machine made by Kees van der Westen, in the Netherlands (runs somewhere around $6,500, before shipping and not including installation).

The Coffee Geek compares the Speedster to the Maserati Gran Turismo and the Leica M6:

We look at these amazing achievements in design, technology, usability, aesthetics, performance and uniqueness, and combined, they make them "the best." Price isn't a factor. What they represent in terms of being a pinnacle of what technology and design is capable of during the period they were produced is.

I'm about as likely to be driving a Maserati GT these days as I am to be pulling my morning espresso on a Speedster, but a girl's got to have goals, right?

In the meantime, the hunt for the best espresso maker under $500 continues.

Coffee on the go

These days, I find I'm willing to make the effort to tilt the scales of my days toward excellence rather than mediocrity. Settling for settling is just not as acceptable as it once was.

I'm also, however, a big fan of convenience. And I've discovered that excellence and convenience don't often walk together down the same street at the same time. Which is where the fun starts — finding those secrets that transform ho-hum into wow, easily.

There's a big difference between ho-hum coffee (mediocre coffee you would drink) and wow coffee (excellent coffee you want to drink). The gap between excellent coffee and extraordinary coffee is not nearly as wide.

I can make my own self a cup of excellent coffee easily enough in my kitchen. One Mr. Bialetti, one bag Zabar's coffee (don't turn your nose up, it might not be a micro-roaster, but it's mighty fine), 7 minutes on the stove, and presto, my perfect morning joe. But what to do when not in my own kitchen?

Answer: Aeropress. From the company famous for its eponymous flying toy (the better frisbee) comes a portable coffee maker that produces a strong, clean brew. A cross between a drip filter (Melitta) and a French Press, the Aerobie seems to take the best and leave the rest. Unlike the drip filter, you pour all the water into the Aeropress and then you're done — no standing over the filter and steadily streaming in the hot water. And unlike the french press method, the Aeropress uses paper filters (small round discs), so the coffee is incredibly particle free and smooth.

And it's small. Perfect to stick in your suitcase. Carry one of these around and all you need is hot water and ground coffee. Ho-hum to wow with one small and BPA-free plastic plunger. Nice.

It's the simple things

I'm waiting for the next wave of celebrity confessions. Any day now. "It's true. I'm addicted. I can't give it up. I admit it. I can't leave the house without it. I can't start my day... learn my lines... take a meeting... I can't even text my assistant to get it for me. If I go too long my hands start to shake."

It's not surprising. After all, it's widely available. And just about anyone can get their hands on the cheap stuff. Or the bad stuff, for that matter. Which is often, but not always, the same.

But let's talk the good stuff. The real thing. The full monty. The whole nine yards. Coffee. And not just coffee. Espresso. The deep, dark, majestic monarch of joe. Black gold. The morning cup that makes the difference between "huh?" and the perfect witty riposte. Here's the thing about that. There's brown stuff. And then there's coffee. And then there's the "get your hand off that right now, or be prepared to pull back a nub." That's where Black Cat Espresso comes in.

Burnt espresso fixes, I mean drinks, are a dime a dozen at ye olde Starbucks (to be found, according to Jonathan Gold, at "every street corner and shopping mall in the known universe"). Well, to be accurate, not a dime, more like a Benjamin, but you get my point.

That's actually part of my point. A pound of espresso—off-the-charts, your-world-will-never-be-the-same espresso—and a few pints of cream will run you less than twenty bucks. That's maybe four drinks at Starbucks. FOUR. 1. 2. 3. 4. One, two, three, four. 1 —— 2 —— 3 —— 4.

Let me repeat that for you. You can spend more money for worse coffee, or you can make your way over to Intelligentsia Coffee and order some of the best espresso you'll ever pipe into your veins. Or drink. Whatever.

Hmmmmmmm...

Zzzzzzzzzz

I did not get enough sleep the other night - and I was kuh-rank-ee.* I need my sleep. All 8 hours of it. I don't know if it's beauty sleep, but it sure is moody sleep - as in, I'm in a foul mood if I don't get enough of it.

A few of my friends are of that annoying race who only seem to need about 10 minutes of sleep on a bed of nails to wake up every morning bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. What planet are they from?

How much is too much? Too little? According to an article in the New York Times,

[although] the lead researcher, Dr. Daniel F. Kripke, now an emeritus professor, could not explain the findings, studies have found that people who sleep the least or the most are more likely to have high blood pressure, symptoms of depression or heart disease. Sleep deprivation can also inhibit the body’s ability to produce insulin and increases the risk of diabetes.

Sleep the least or the most? I don't find that helpful. Either you sleep too much or too little - you're telling me I have to get it just right? Who do I look like? Goldilocks?

One study showed that people who slept nine hours or more were twice as likely to get Parkinson's disease as those who slept six hours or less (aha! score one for the scant sleepers). But no, it's not that easy (heaven forbid) - another study evidently revealed that "people who sleep less tend to weigh more." A point for the sleep gluttons. And so it went, one for you, one for me, one for you, one for me. Feh.

You know what I think? I think you should sleep as much as your body tells you. If you deprive it, it ain't gonna be happy, and if you stupefy it with sopor, it also ain't gonna be so thrilled.

So, me - I'm an 8 hour girl. After that, give me a good strong cuppa joe (preferably black cat - and those of you who know, know), and I'm good to go. And as for you, maybe you're one of those 5 hours and up and at 'em folks. I hear they exist. You do your thing, let me do my thing - we're good. But try to convince me I don't really need my 8 hours - you might lose a limb. I'm just sayin'.




*cranky

Lovemark may redeem top tier status

Lovemark, you ask? What's a lovemark? Did she make it up - you know, like "revynopsis?"

Nope - not I. Not this time. Kevin Roberts, of Saatchi and Saatchi fame (well.., fame to some, infame to others) has that honor. Wrote the book, started the website, yadda, yadda, yadda...

Take a brand away and people will find a replacement. Take a Lovemark away and people will protest its absence. Lovemarks are a relationship, not a mere transaction. You don’t just buy Lovemarks, you embrace them passionately. That’s why you never want to let go.

Put simply, Lovemarks inspire Loyalty Beyond Reason

Ah, Starbucks...

Are you going to the Starbucks there?
Coffee, tea, chai latte and time
Remember me to one who lives there,
For she once was a true love of mine.

So the coffee (and the chai tea latte, for that matter) is better at Peets. So the Ultimate Blended at Coffee Bean kicks Frappuccino's butt. So there are more Starbucks than there should be - except when you really want one. I walked a mile in New York City once - I kid you not, a mile on the Upper West Side, without passing a single Starbucks. I thought I'd walked into a time warp.

Regardless -- Starbucks was first. Starbucks is old reliable. Starbucks is omnipresent - and thank goodness, or we'd be stuck drinking coffee at McDonald's in Tokyo. I mean really. Starbucks is there when you need it -- comforting, familiar, always ready with the New York Times (Peets and CBTL can't say that). But... I have to admit that lately, I have fallen out of love. I'm talking serious lovemark status slippage.

One, and it's almost too horrible to talk about - can we discuss airport Starbucks? Where to start? With the 3 pastry selections? Excuse me, the 3 dessicated pastry selections that look like they were delivered last month after being rejected by the corner deli? How about with the "sorry, we're out of... soy milk, chai syrup, honey, water?" (Okay, they've never actually been out of water... yet.)

Two, the wait. It used to be that going to Starbucks was like going to the Barista Magic Show. Wham Bam Presto Espresso Ma'am. Now it's more like taking the short bus to school - oh, you mean you wanted that latte today? And let me tell you, in the morning, before I've had my first cup of coffee is so not the time to make me wait for it. Kind of a bummer catch-22 for that poor dude behind the counter, but get on the stick and give me my coffee. Now. Before I kill you by shoving a stir stick in your ear.

Three, the coffee really is not that good. Sometimes it's kind of like drinking the top of a really good charred steak. Which would be tasty on a plate - but in a mug?

So, you're asking - what's changed? Whassup that Starbucks might be making a comeback in the Lovemark book of g? (That's me.) Well, it's not any change in the airport Starbucks -they still pretty much suck. But I have noticed that the short bus isn't stopping at my neighborhood S'bux so much anymore... nice not to have to worry anymore about being the first to use the "I hadn't had my venti extra-hot half-caf soy dry latte with an extra shot" defense in a homicide case. Not to mention it's nice to get my morning cup of joe in a timely fashion.

And... get this... for those of you who carry around a Starbucks card (like I) - well, starting in April, your upgrades - that vanilla syrup (not my thing - but if you like it, go for it), that soy milk (now that is my thing) - are yours at no charge. That's right folks. Use your Starbucks loyalty card and get your upgrade free. Doesn't that seem like just the way to build brand loyalty? Sure does to me.

Seems as though Mr. Schultz (Howard Schultz, CEO) made this announcement at the end of the last annual meeting:

We somehow evolved from a culture of entrepreneurship, creativity and innovation to a culture of, in a way, mediocrity and bureaucracy.

That's a pretty ballsy thing to say at your annual meeting. Unless you intend to actually do something about it. (For the rest of what Howie intends to do to combat mediocrity and bureaucracy in Gotham, I mean Seattle, read Kevin Coupe's stellar cliff notes.)

Starbucks, my lovemark. Sigh.