and they say women change their minds...

Did you know that since the first ever Academy Awards, in 1929 (for the year ending August 1, 1928 - because we all know the year ends in August), the writing awards have gone through 14 iterations to get to the current two - "Original Screenplay" and "Adapted Screenplay"?

In fact, those two categories have only been around since 2002. For the 10 years before that, we were watching scribes win for these mouthfuls: "Screenplay written directly for the screen" and "Screenplay based on material previously produced or published." Clearly the people in charge at that point hadn't fully absorbed the "less is more" credo.

In the first 26 years, the category changed eight times. One award, two, three, back to two, it was a free-for-all, I'm telling you.

The very first year, 1927/1928, the Academy handed out awards for Writing (Adaptation), Writing (Original Story) and Writing (Title Writing), which was not awarded for any particular film - this was for writing all the dialogue "titles" that appeared on screen between scenes in the movies, which, you know, were all silent back then. That year, the Academy also saw fit to bestow a special award on Charlie Chaplin for "The Circus" as explained in this letter

'The Academy Board of Judges on merit awards for individual achievements in motion picture arts during the year ending August 1, 1928, unanimously decided that your name should be removed from the competitive classes, and that a special first award be conferred upon you for writing, acting, directing and producing 'The Circus.' The collective accomplishments thus displayed place you in a class by yourself.' (Letter from the Academy to Mr. Chaplin, dated February 19, 1929.)

I love that - "place you in a class by yourself." He was, wasn't he?

At the 2nd and 3rd Academy Awards, there was just one writing award given, "Writing - Screenplay." And, by the by, it was Frances Marion, a female screenwriter force of nature who wrote over 200 movies, who took home the statue at the 3rd Academy Awards for her movie "The Big House" - a down and dirty prison movie, which was directed by George W. Hill. It wasn't some weepy, woman's movie. Or some lovey-dovey woman's movie. It was a cell doors clanking, prisoners suffering, grimy movie. I'm just saying.

Then, for a few years, two awards were given - for "Adaptation" and "Original Story." Then these were changed to "Screenplay" and "Original Story."

It was after that that things started to get interesting. Ready? Follow me, now...
1940-41: "Original Screenplay," "Original Story," and "Screenplay"

1942-46: "Original Screenplay," "Screenplay," and "Original Motion Picture Story"

1947: "Motion Picture Story," "Original Screenplay," and "Screenplay"

1948: "Motion Picture Story" and "Screenplay"

1949-55: "Motion Picture Story," "Screenplay," and "Story & Screenplay"

1956: "Motion Picture Story," "Original Screenplay," and "Adapted Screenplay"

1957 - 68: "Story & screenplay written directly for the screen" and "Screenplay based on material from another medium"

1969-73: "Story & screenplay based on factual material or material not previously published or produced" and "Screenplay based on material from another medium"

1974-75: "Original Screenplay" and "Screenplay adapted from other material"

1976-90: "Screenplay written directly for the screen" and Screenplay based on material from another medium"

1991-01: "Screenplay written directly for the screen" and Screenplay based on material previously produced or published"

and, finally, we come to

2002-today: "Original Screenplay" and "Adapted Screenplay"

Until they change their minds. Again.

You can't win for losing in this town

You all know how I feel about Diablo Cody - and I am (clearly) not alone. The girl won an Academy Award for crying out loud. But now there seems to be backlash, and backlash to the backlash, which would be... frontlash? Eyelash? Whatever. Anyway... I was rather leaving the whole thing alone, but the stuff I've been reading the past few days is just too stupid to leave alone.

First the backlash. She's getting flack (flak?) for being outre (sorry, can't find the e with the accent in my blogging software), for her tat, for her past, for her look, for her voice (hello? for her voice? her, ahem, Oscar-winning voice? Right. That really makes sense.) It's as though while she was a "hopeful" all of that was charming, quirky, smart, authentic, different. And now that she's won, it's affected, arrogant, tawdry, rebellious (okay, well she is, but she always was), and somehow fake. Like now that she's won the Oscar, she shouldn't be an ex-stripper anymore. Puh-lease.

And that's just about her. Then there's the idiocy, and I do mean idiocy, about the movie itself. (That would be the backlash to the backlash.) There's plenty of it, but my two favorite objections are 1) that it champions teen pregnancy and b) that 16 year-olds don't really sound like that. Okay, I have a lot, and I mean a lot I could say about all of that, but I'm going to limit it (sort of).

Regarding the first point, it's a MOVIE. Can we talk about movies glamorizing killing people? How many boys (and girls, for that matter) want to be John McClane? Dirty Harry? Martin Riggs? Huh? Don't like that analogy? What about the spate of 'Prince Charming's going to come to my high school and solve all my problems' movies that have come out recently? Is that a good lesson to be teaching the little ones? Do we object? No? Why? Maybe because they're, I don't know, movies?

Which leads nicely into the second objection - that 16 year-olds don't talk like that.

Really. You don't say.

Can I point out that most people "Breaking Up" don't look like Jennifer Aniston? That most presidents don't talk like Andrew Shepherd? Or look like Michael Douglas? That few nuns look like Susan Sarandon? How many teachers in Harlem look like Michelle Pfeiffer? Hillary Swank? Denzel Washington? Sidney Poitier? (and yes, geographical liberties taken, but you get my point) How many wives are as funny as Debbie in Knocked Up? How many sports agents are as madly eloquent as Jerry Maguire? For that matter, how many girls are as romantically succinct as Dorothy Boyd? How many outlaws are as carefree and witty as Butch Cassidy and Sundance? And, really, how many people on the face of the planet look like that? How many attorneys speak or behave like Atticus Finch? Or look like Gregory Peck? (I think I'll rest my case right there.) Isn't the point of movies to be more than, to be better than? Of good movies?

Here's my question (and we all know the $130 million answer) - wasn't Juno fun to listen to? And don't you wish some 16 year-olds did talk like that? Crikey, don't you wish you talked like that? I know I do.

My favorite Oscar speech EVER

1998.
Life Achievement.
Stanley Donen.


Who also had this to say about being a director that night: "You find yourself a great script and great actors. Then you show up -- and stay the hell out of the way. But you gotta show up or else you can't take the credit and win one of these guys."
'Nuff said.

Look Ma, no...

Here's a thought - what would happen if you ran the Oscars without writers?

Ask the celebrities to stand up, read the nominees' names, watch the clips, and announce the winner. Oops, announce "to whom the Oscar goes." (They don't announce the "winner" anymore, dontcha know?)

It's just a thought.