Oh, this old piece of geometry? Yeah, I own it.

Granted, I am not an intellectual property attorney, I'd rather see than be one, and I have never played one on TV.

Nonetheless, allow me to weigh in on the new patent Apple was just awarded — for the shape of the Macbook Air. That's right, Apple patented the wedge (known in some circles as... the triangle).

It appears that, for right now anyway, Apple's patent is limited to "ultrabooks," but with the ferocity that company's been showing recently in its pursuit of patent primacy, I wouldn't be surprised to learn that infringement warnings are to be served imminently on Renee Pascal, Bermuda, Pythagoras, traffic warning signs, and hapless first graders banging away in music classes everywhere.

You know, I seem to recall Smucker's attempt to patent the peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Granted it was some horrible frozen round version (called an "uncrustable" of all names) of the classic, but at the end of the day, it was just a ravioli version of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich — so sayeth the Grand Poohbah Patent Examiner and so affirmed the all-mighty appeals court. Patent denied.

Because you can't patent PB&J, and I bet you can't patent ye olde right triangle either. But what do I know? I'm just a writer.